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She loves herself, that one

Writer's picture: Ash GeraghtyAsh Geraghty

We are part of a unique culture here. We are a funny, kind, irreverent, joyful-but-also-melancholy type of people. Incredibly hard and unbelievably soft. Rebellious and conservative. It all makes sense, here. One thing that makes a lot of sense, here, is a collective disapproval of anyone having 'Notions'. Notions being ideas above your station, excessive pride, showing off, not hiding the fact that you might be doing well for yourself. Accepting a compliment. That kind of thing. A great put down would be to say - 'she loves herself, that one...'


And through a combination of culture and my own personal story I wholeheartedly embraced the concept of self disapproval. If there was any way to feel rubbish about myself, I found it and gladly shared it with the world, before the world could gift it to me. My default mode was 'I'm some eejit'. That way I was safe. From the dreaded accusation of Notions, but also safe from having to expect too much from myself. I could bumble along, secure in all my inadequacies and shortcomings.


And then the Self Help phenomenon found it's way across the Atlantic and into our bookshops and on to our TV screens. Shiny people with shiny hair and shinier teeth telling us we should love ourselves. Oh how we laughed. Imagine! Could you even imagine allowing such a thought into your head?! You'd be walking around thinking you were great, with your nose in the air and looking down on everyone. Sure how could that be right? How could it be right to think you were anything special?


It is probably a generational thing, and I see beautiful souls who are coming of age now, who are comfortable with embracing their own brilliance. It took me until my forties to really figure any of this out. But I understand self love now. It clicked all of a sudden. It's not the first time I have experienced a lifting of the veil by the way. It's a magical thing that happens with increasing frequency the more work you do. THE work. This work. It's like a curtain being drawn back and in an instant you see, and you know. Soul recall. The buried truth rising up to the surface.


Self love is loving THIS version of yourself. This incarnation of your soul that is on this particular journey. It is falling in love with the gift of this life and this adventure and this manifestation of you that has been gifted the ticket. It's being able to stand back and think; Wow! All this Life and Emotion and Learning and Feeling that makes up this soul experience! Wow! This soul that is channelling all this energy! Wow! I have so much love for this brave and strong spirit! Look at how she has found her way through the life labyrinth so far. Look at all the mistakes she has made and all the heartache she has endured and look at how she is still determined and still learning. I love her so much! I am so proud of her!


I listened to a beautiful meditation this week. I was in the middle of writing this, and as tends to happen, it was the most perfect discovery at the most perfect time.It is by Kenneth Soares and you can find it on the Insight meditation app. The title of the meditation is 'Soul Energy Allignment: Self Love, Deep Healing And Awakening.' It is a guided meditation that brings you to a place where you greet yourself at 80 years old and at 5 years old. And the three versions of you come together and share love and healing. I was bowled over by the love inside me for that older and younger version of me. I held them and hugged them and was filled to the brim with joy just by being in their company. The five year old version of me had all those mistakes and heartaches ahead of her, and 80 year old me has awareness of all the mistakes and heartache that I am yet to meet. But the three of us are doing our best and are connected, always, to the divine source of all that is.


Can you feel this for yourself? Can you allow yourself to be utterly in love with this version of you that was brave enough to take on this particular life journey at this exact time? Because that's what Self Love is. It's not about having Notions. It's about awe and respect and tenderness for the wonder that is You. Recognising the light and the dark that makes up the whole.


And if anyone ever tries to put you down with a 'She loves herself, that one', claim it!

Say 'I do!!! I really do!!!'




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